Ego

August 19, 2026•4 min read

According to the Cleveland Clinic: “Your ego is the part of your personality that helps you stay grounded, make wise choices and manage emotions. When it’s in balance, you feel confident and in control. But if things feel off, like being overly self-critical or reactive, your ego might need support. A mental health professional can help.”

If you are worried or scared it can help give you enough self confidence to try something new. If you are about to do something dangerous your ego might also give you some clarity that you shouldn’t do something reckless, to keep you from getting hurt.

Most people need ego to even start training in martial arts or combat sports. It is hard, you won't know what you are doing when you start. It’s like being at the bottom of a very big hill, that you don’t have to climb. Most people won’t even start walking up the hill.

You need to believe in yourself enough to fail, and fail enough times to get better, so that you won’t fail. There are a lot of challenges in Jiu Jitsu. The first is most likely you won’t know how to move your body on the ground. You will begin to learn moves, and your body won’t know how to perform them. You will watch your professor and team mates perform these moves and it will look easy and fluid, and when you try you won’t know which way to turn, where to place your arms or legs. You will begin sparring, and you won’t even know what your supposed to do from the spot your in, you won’t even know what you should be trying to do from this spot, this is just the beginning.

So why would anyone start? And if they did start, why would anyone continue? You will see the effectiveness first hand, and you might have seen some UFCs, maybe you have heard of Royce Gracie. If you want to know how to defend yourself, there is a lot of evidence that Jiu Jitsu is the best single martial art for self defense.

If you continue to train, you will learn how to move effectively. You will learn all of the major positions, you will learn submission and sweeps. You will start to be effective and you will develop strategies that work. Your ego will have helped you to get this far.

But in most people this ego that has served you so well to this point will start to become a stumbling block. You will need to get better at the positions you are not proficient at yet. Which will involve you putting yourself in these positions. Your ego will know you can win and keep you from practicing positions where you are likely to lose. Depending on how big your ego is, will depend on how much it stifles your progress.

You will need to find a way to give yourself permission to lose. My Professor, Keith Owen would say the training mats are the place to loose, to grow and to learn, so that you never have to lose in the streets. My opinion is when you are in the intermediate stage of training, you should work on the part of your Jiu Jitsu that is in your opinion the worst. For most people it will either be bottom side control or bottom mount. Give yourself grace to lose, as many times as it takes to get better. Look for the places you struggle, be specific about the problems. When you know what the problem is, talk to your coach or professor and they can help with solutions. This process will make you more humble. A healthy amount of humility is a good thing!

Here’s some more things to think about:

Proverbs 11:2

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”

Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

Romans 12:3

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think…”

Matthew 20:26–28

“Whoever would be great among you must be your servant…”

James 4:6

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

1 Peter 5:5–6